It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
