Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
