we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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