no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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