Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
where does the pee come out of this thing
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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