Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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