He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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