is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
