I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
