The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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