At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize