Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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