We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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