based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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