I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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