Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
