she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
