We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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