Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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