She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
