i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
