apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
