I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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