PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
