he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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