perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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