Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he shaved USA in his pubs
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
