I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
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Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.