somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3