Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.