saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
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i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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