I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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