My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
