I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
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She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
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he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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