oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
