It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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