Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
