"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
