You work out of a Hotel?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
