i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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