Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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