the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
