Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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