grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
