aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
