its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
