How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
