He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
