There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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