just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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