I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
