I want to stick my p in your. b.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
