After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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