So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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