So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
wow bdsm is so cute
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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