Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
