hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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