He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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