Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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